


His mind was a mess

by InterPlanetaryGirl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Apple Pie, Bokuto and Akaashi help, Cuddles, Cute, Everybody Worries, Fluff, Kuro brings it, M/M, Panic Attacks, Trans Kenma, Trans Male Character, briefly, he leaves work early for Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:09:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterPlanetaryGirl/pseuds/InterPlanetaryGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I got the prompt "kenma is having a panic attack and the rest of the ot4 calms him down?" on one of my previous fics, and I thought it was really good and had fluff potential so I just had to write it and despite it taking like 3 days I managed to</p>
            </blockquote>





	His mind was a mess

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I really hope that this is good and cute bc I tried hard for it and wrote it during my period 5 class bc I ended up skipping and hanging out with my maths teacher and 8 11 year olds in that maths class

Kenma woke up in bed, alone, and his mind was crowded and loud and he really didn’t like it. Beneath him he could feel where his chest met the mattress uncomfortably and he felt worse. He knew, logically, that he could get up, find his binder, put it on and within twenty minutes of eating something and playing video games he would be fine, but.

_But._

**_But_**.

In his mind it doesn’t comprehend. It doesn’t go in. It isn't computing. The math isn’t right. The coding doesn’t work.

And he notices his breathing is off and his heart rate is high and his brain cannot think.

This happens sometimes, when nobody is around to distract him from his immediate thoughts.

If his happens he doesn’t care about anything, but at the same time he cares too much and he cannot bring himself to do anything. This is why his breathing messes up, his heart rate goes berserk and his mind is haywire.

The next thing he knows is the door to the bedroom is being opened, the spare bedroom since it was the closest one to him, after waking up in the middle of the night because he fell asleep playing video games and didn’t have the effort to walk upstairs. A soft “Hey,” is heard from Akaashi, stood there, at the doorway where it was fully open now. But when they see Kenma’s breathing, they walk out silently and return a moment later with his binder, pushing the door to as he walks forward to sit with Kenma. “Come on, sit up a little,” Akaashi helps him and he moves to hide his face immediately.

He knows how tear-stained it is, and how red it has become from where he rubbed it all over the pillow, smelling of Kuro still from when he was in the room with Akaashi the previous night. He doesn’t want Akaashi to look at him while he’s like that, he looks so awful and can’t stop thinking _why would you or the others ever want to be with me?_ but he doesn’t voice it because he doesn’t want to hear anything.

Instead he just raises his arms after a minute and looked away, refusing to meet Akaashi’s eyes, and he lets Akaashi put his binder on with little resistance; beside from his too-quick breathing that makes it awkward for Akaashi to manoeuvre the binder onto him and his shirt back on too.  
Then there’s the too-loud a calling of his name, coming from Bokuto in the direction of the hall with his loud footsteps heading towards the room.

“Are you oka-” He doesn’t get to finish his question with Akaashi’s equally loud shushing, and Bokuto’s eyes widen as he sees Kenma being dragged into Akaashi’s arms with his back to their chest, his eyes closing and him concentrating on matching his breathing to Akaashi’s.

The bed dips in front of him and his head falls forward onto Bokuto’s chest, and he begins sobbing.

Most of his cries are cut off with his ragged breathing, but he doesn’t care as he pushes his hands into the sheets, before placing them on his thighs and gripping harshly, pinching at himself and he doesn’t know whether it’s on accident or purposefully.

It doesn’t hurt, but it leaves marks there once Bokuto removes his hands and holds them up to his mouth peppering kisses all over them.

He tries to focus on Akaashi pushing their hand through his hair. The hand he feels on his back, stroking, soothing him just a little.

“Please don’t cry, Kenma.” Bokuto leans forward to whisper in his ear, “Do you want to be alone?” Kenma shakes his head. “What time did you go to sleep?” He shrugs, as much as possible with his hiccups, despite them beginning to subside. “Are you hungry?”

Kenma opens his mouth to answer, he doesn’t know if he is, because he isn’t too focused on it, but his stomach is starting to hurt. “I- I guess.” Kenma murmurs, running out of breath fast.

“Okay, I’ll text Kuro.” Kenma goes to shake his head, because Kuro is still at work (judging by the sun’s position through the window) and he doesn’t want him leaving for him. “Shh, no it’s okay, he said he was going to be done early anyway, remember?” Kenma stills, trying to remember, but his thoughts get interrupted, “Ah, I guess you were still playing video games when he told us. Never mind.” Kenma breathes out - his first steady breath since waking this morning.

Akaashi removes the hand from his back and sends the text, seeing as Bokuto was struggling with his tongue sticking out. But when Kenma looked at Bokuto during his struggle, he managed to huff out a laugh.

“We should probably move, do you want to watch something?” Akaashi asks him, moving so that he can put his phone in his pocket. Kenma nods, so Akaashi looks at Bokuto who smiles a little and positions himself to lift Kenma from the bed and take him up the their main bedroom.

Kenma makes no noises that show discomfort, or disapproval, so Bokuto carries him up the stairs with Akaashi making a pit stop in the living room for one of their laptops and a charger, as well as in the kitchen for some strawberry milk for Kenma.

When they get upstairs, Kenma is already getting comfortable in Bokuto’s lap, who is whispering in his ear about something that is making him smile slightly, and he looks up at Akaashi before his eyes fix on the milkshake and he practically begs Akaashi, with a simple look. Akaashi just rolls their eyes and gives it to him easily, so he sucks on the straw insistently and almost goes cross eyed at the effort with looking down.

Before he realises it, Akaashi has the laptop set up to watch Netflix, and Kenma shrugs at the choices, so Akaashi settles for re-runs of Bokuto and Kenma’s favourite comedy show.

Kenma has calmed down considerably by the time the door slams open (only startling him slightly) but the smell of apple pie hits him first and Akaashi is moving the laptop out of the way as Kuroo comes and jumps and slides himself onto the bed in front of Kenma to present him with the pie.

Kenma licks his lips as he flicks his eyes between Kuroo and the pie, not sparing a glance for the other two as Kuro begins to half-smile, half-smirk. “You want it?” Kuroo asks him. Kenma licks his lips again, unconsciously, but he sees Kuroo follow the motion.

“Please?” Kenma asked, pouting slightly.

“Sure, give me five.” Kenma waits, watching the screen on Akaashi’s lap while Kuroo changes into fresh, not-work clothes, that he can get comfortable in as he climbs in, making space between Kenma and the headboard, before placing the pie in Kenma’s lap, along with a plastic fork.

Once they were all comfortable, it didn’t take long for Bokuto in tears from laughing so hard, or Akaashi to be in stitches and threatening with falling off the bed because they, quite frankly, lost their shit, and Kenma clutching his stomach just above Kuro’s own arms because he was beginning to get cramps from it with Kuro leaning his head on Kenma’s shoulder, only chuckling occasionally while making sure the pie doesn’t fall and stain their bed.

That was learning from a past experience.

And Kenma was calm. His breathing was off, his heart rate was quick and his mind was a mess. But at least he was calm, and surrounded by his three favourite people giving him a good reason to have all of those things happen to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Was it okay??? Please tell me your opinions/leave comments/kudos or come talk to me about this on my tumblr @melody-of-darkness bc I will discuss any of these ships with you and have a massive list of headcanons that I am v happy to share with you


End file.
